I dunno whats wrong wt my family

Im so tired already.. got work, got to view house, i got to visit gynae, i got to handle my parents, parents in law, and my big day...

Seriously its getting out of control. Until the beginning of December then i can settle down.
Out of control not because of all these.. but because the pressure i get from my family.

I dunno y they r not happy since im not staying with them and they like care too much until they are piss.

I will never forget what happen yesterday..

After work, we went to see Dr Lawrence Ang.. he is v nice and everytime shout my name loudly from outside.. we eager to see baby heartbeat..
Then immediately do scanning and he ask if i can hear.. i can ya.. it was fast.. DD was smiling happily.. He said that 90% but still cannot tell the world im pregnant.. until the next visit it would be confirm. that would be end of nov.

DD call his mom and she said dun anyhow run, and later fall like tt time. ( i fell down at Taiping.. ) Must take care of myself.

After tt we met chong bro to view the flat. he is moving house on the 9th of dec.
the house is so near to my work place.. prob i need to take bus and a stop away or have to walk.. but seems like the distance is realli long if walk.. and what if im pregnant le.. too far la.
Anyway it is v windy and though the house is empty it is ok.. we planning when he come back we will go IKEA and buy. of course he pay lo.

Chong bro was v close to DD. they born on the v same day. just tt he morning.. DD afternoon.
They worked together in Zenitel b4. So of course staying together with friends is better then with strangers.

Then Gram call DD that hornich is closing down marine side and ask if DD wan to move out to join another company with him.. DD expected it and of course they will make even more money if they set up their own.. Since their own boss dun even bother abt the marine side and always pin point here n there.. starting will b hard but v soon they will b stable cos Gram has so many kang tao..

When go back home.. i ask mum what is my chinese birth date and time.
But first i told her that my baby got heartbeat.. she say " die lo, must give birth lo "
I was shock how come she say these type of thing but i was calm.

Then she say " u say wan to do 3 yrs later yr marriage, PI ( bullshit ) la, yr baby how old already by then"

When i still calm and ask her what is my birthday from chinese calender, she said for what.. i say DD parents wan.. she say "tell them for what, since u are getting married already"

I immediately wan to put down the phone.. im SO PISSED OFF.... told DD and he was not happy as well..

I msg her saying i know she is unhappy that i got a baby. Everything i will settle.. but i hope to see ehr smiling on my ROM..

She called laughing and kept scolded me that im crazy and she is kidding.. ( i can tell u .. from the words on top all the way, how can she be kidding when every sentence hurt me so bad ).
she is laughing but im crying badly.. and i shouted... then she shouted and say that im like alien.. i dunno how many times she say abt tt girl..

All these words was out from her mouth during the conversation.. tell me whether is she happy.

" Things must do step by step.. better right.. now u have THAT THING, How? have to do la "
That thing??? That is yr grandchild for goodness sake..

The last

" U think what ah.. u think u pregnant the world must support u ah.. must hug u must put u on the top ah.." i told DD ... WAHHHH I HAD ENOUGH.. i put down..

I cried like mad.... and DD say that he think my mom is kan bu qi ta... ( think DD cant support me )

She call and say she will not attend my wedding anything to do with my baby and family she dun wanna chap anymore. Ok.. fine.

She go back home and explain to DD that it is a misunderstanding... and she kept explaining again and again abt alien and we must forgive her care for her.. I FUCKING DO NOT CARE... IM NOT HER SISTER AND I DUN WANNA HEAR ANYTHING FROM HER.

I told her from when i move out until now, what kind of support do i get.. she said i wanted to move out myself.. what did u tell me on Chinese new yr? u told us to move out better.

Seriously... im more relax now.. because i dun have to do all these traditional things. i would save the money go to my honeymoon and make my house as beautiful as i can. I skip everything from church and all the tea ceremony.. maybe i will think back how come i didnt do.. but its ok.. i onli hope 1 thing and that is my baby to be healthy and DD to love me faithfully and care for me.. thats all i ask for.

From what she said she has make us so much stronger.. DD will work harder... i will work harder and make sure by 2 yrs time.. i got my house, my baby cute cute and pretty / handsome.. and financially stable and happy. I dun need yr help.. probably u shud help yr lover, yr daughter and yr son.. i think they realli need yrs then i do need yr love. i know u are tired.

From now.. i cut all ties with my family.. i intend to take my things everything from birth cert to certificates, dresses shirts and dress and all stuff to my house. Phone bill next month i will cut it off. Probably transfer to my name and not together using my mom's name. I will return her this sim card. I dun own her anything.. since she does not support my baby.. i shall support by myself, DD and DD parents.. When my baby is born, probably i let her see and know.. after tt i will raise her by myself.. and i dunno if i continue to let my baby see her.

Im sorry for these harse words but u have hurt me so damn badly.. i dunno if u were even my mom..

I wan support from people i love and not disagreement that my baby is shotgun.. i can raise her DD can raise her.. i have started working and can support myself.. it is not like im still studying.
I just am faster.. But everything can be done by 2 months.

Probably the more i see my baby on the scanner.. the more love i will put on her.. now i dun feel im pregnant.. and she is just 2cm.... But im more eager to give birth to her.. i cant wait for time to pass when i hav my house and she is born.. When i see MIMI... she is soooooo cute and adorable... i wan one like this too...

I thank everybody for their support but trust me i can stand up on my own.. without parents support..